Biggest Budget Blunders
Posted by admin | Under Pet Clothing Thursday Jun 24, 2010
Does your budget never seem to balance the way it should? Are you constantly digging into the savings to make ends meet?
If you find that your budget isn’t doing the job, then it’s time to take a good look at essential components you might be missing or you have not allowed sufficiently for.
Some of the biggest budget blunders are:
1. Failure to plan for inevitable expenses
We all have irregular expenses that we naively refer to as “unexpected.” Come on, is that flat tire really unexpected? Don’t you secretly know that these things happen? Have you ever owned a car that did not need repairs or maintenance? If you have, you probably didn’t own it long enough. The solution; Start counting on the car breaking down instead of hoping it doesn’t!
The car isn’t the only area we slight in the budget. Do you find yourself hoping and praying that the hot water heater, washer, dryer, or some other major appliance doesn’t need to be repaired or, worse yet, replaced.
Home maintenance is always a factor in our finances. Even if you rent, you probably have some home related expenses waiting to creep up on you.
These are just a couple examples of variable expenses that we often overlook.
When you consider the following other categories that could be included in this list, you can see the serious consequences this oversight can have on your budget.
Property, Auto, Health and Life Insurance if not paid on a monthly schedule.
Even if you do pay monthly, you should try to save for a lump payment if at all possible. Most companies charge up to a $3 fee for monthly payment options. It doesn’t sound like a lot but, over a years time it’s $36 you won’t be investing in their cause. I say, it’s always best to invest in yourself. Don’t you agree? Put the $36 in your savings!
Taxes – Property, Federal, and State – If you know you will have to pay Uncle Sam, prepare for it. If you value your home or other property investment, prepare for the costs. Don’t scramble at the last minute to come up with enough to pay your obligations. It’s likely other areas of your budget will suffer greatly, since these expenses have a high priority.
Clothing – Now, I can wear a piece of clothing ’til you can see through the threads. I work at home, so I only have a few choice pieces for special occasions. I’m a no frills kind of gal. But, I have four kids. Do I expect them to stop growing or somehow not care how they look to their peers? Of course not! But, I’m working on it. Just kidding! I know that they will need more clothes, more shoes, more accessories….etc., etc., etc., etc…
I use every resource available to me to cut down the clothing budget, I know I must account for this expense. It will arise, whether I am prepared or not!
School Supplies – This is another one you just can’t omit if you have kids. You can, however, use some clever money saving techniques and multiple resources to keep this expense to a minimum.
Pet Care – If you have a pet, you most likely have expenses that come with this beloved family member. Vaccinations, flea control, veterinarian, and food are just a few that come to mind. Again, minimize the costs by using all your resources.
Tip: My local county animal shelter gives rabies vaccines for $5. Good for three years if regularly vaccinated. Does yours?
Gifts – If your friends, family, and kids don’t care if they don’t get gifts from you, if you’ve declared war on the holidays, or have a convenient hiding place when these occasions take place, then you can skip this one!
I’m guessing most of you are including this one. It’s inevitable. My best advice is to set strict limits and be a smart shopper. Seek out the bargains and buy when it’s a deal, even if it’s months ahead of time.
Medical – Unless you’re lucky enough, or not lucky (depending on how you look at it), to qualify for medical assistance, you undoubtedly have medical expenses over and above the cost of your health insurance; Co-pays for doctors and medicines, over-the-counter medications, dental and eye care expenses. Nope, can’t omit it, have to include it. Sorry, it’s a must have!
Vacation – If you have the income, include this one to make planning less stressful. Get inventive if you don’t have enough income. You can still have a vacation with limited, or no, travel expenses.
2. No Emergency Fund…
. . .or misconceptions about what warrants an emergency. An emergency is this case should be limited to an unexpected occurrence. No, if you’ve been listening, having to replace the water pump on your car is not an emergency. A real emergency might include; loss of income, severe illness, or death in the family.
Although we all hope such occurrences never happen to us, sometimes we aren’t lucky enough to escape these unfortunate events in life.
You should try to set aside a specific amount, no matter how little, each month in an emergency fund to eventually equal at least three to six months of your current income.
3. Living Above Your Means.
This is simply spending more than you earn. Unfortunately, this is a direct consequence of budget blunders #1 and #2. When funds are not set aside for variable expenses and emergencies, you will inevitably turn to plastic money (credit cards) to bail out. Spending more than you earn is a sure sign that you’re headed for trouble. When you spend future earnings it’s like “counting your chickens before the eggs hatch.” The long term consequences are usually devastating. It’s likely you’ll end up in deep debt and eventually have no where to turn except counseling or bankruptcy. Don’t let it get that far. Take control of your money. Now!
If you’ve been making these budget blunders, you’re probably exhausted just considering all the work you have to do on your budget. I’m exhausted just writing about it. The sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be on the path to a really successful budget.
Add up all your variable expenses and divide by twelve to come up with a monthly amount that you should be setting aside for this expense. Keep these funds separate from your monthly bill fund to avoid dipping into it accidentally.
Start with 5-10% of your income to start a savings, or apply to an existing savings, each month for your emergency fund.
Make sure your expenses are within your income. If not, start reviewing, eliminating, and reducing those expenses to fit into your income limits.
A good budget is like a good friend. It helps keep you strong and steady.
Nathan Dawson
http://www.articlesbase.com/finance-articles/biggest-budget-blunders-118612.html
Has the poor economy lead to more etiquette blunders due to poor budgeting?
I left this forum for a while, and it seems like I am seeing more questions where brides want a big wedding but aren’t willing to make adjustment for their budget.
Am I imagining this?
People want to beg for cash, plan big weddings with no food at meal times, what happened to budgeting?!
If you don’t want to pay for food for 200 people, either cut the guest list or do a lighter, shorter reception at a different time!
Why is it the first thing people want to cut is things for the guests? Shouldn’t that be the last thing?
Oh, and if you don’t know the difference between tradition and etiquette try not to answer until you look that up.
Tradition is optional, etiquette is not.
I am fine with people not serving a meal or serving inexpensive food. You just need to time it appropriately. Something as little as cake and simple beverages is perfectly fine as long as it is not planned at a meal time.
I agree. I think there are a lot of etiquette blunders in general. I hate when people have cash bars, don’t send out of town guests save the dates, and ask for cash on invites. I think it’s horrible. I know it’s the bride’s day, but I also think people should have class while hosting their day. Etiquette exists for a reason, and lately people seem to just not care about it in the slightest.
*"tradition is optional, etiquette is not" – that’s a great point. there is a difference. A reception does not have to be cookie cutter to be polite and considerate. And, as a side note, who thumbs downs someone who agrees with etiquette? I think that just proves the point being made!
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AAAAAAAMMMMMMEEEEEENNNNNN CHOIR…lol we fail to realize the the wedding is a day to express your love the marriage is a lifetime..it is ok to cut back on that day and realize that you have a life after the fact..WHAT WE WANT IS NOT WHATS ALWAYS BEST FOR US and as adults we need to learn and understand this and be responsible it is not about how many people it is about the marriage..I can afford a large wedding easily..but whats the point? So we may have nice and small or just go to Barbados with a few loved ones..we can send pics and dvds a lot cheaper and they will still have the memory..I hope some of these brides wisen up!!
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I agree with you. Since I have been on this forum, I have been a little shocked at how inconsiderate some people can be, and how they completely disregard etiquette so that "their day" can be perfect. I think the wedding industry has completely skewed our perception of what is proper to do in a wedding. The wedding industry says that you have to do certain things or your wedding is not acceptable, but they don’t focus on wedding etiquette.
When I got engaged, one of the first things I bought was a wedding etiquette book and a wedding planning book. That way, I know things I can cut without seeming rude to the guests but still sticking within my budget. With today’s economy, most people recognize that the bride and groom are on a budget…but that doesn’t excuse rudeness.
For my wedding, we are doing a lot of things ourselves, like centerpieces and place cards, so that we could put the money towards food and alcohol. My aunt is making my cake, and two other aunts are doing my hair and makeup, we aren’t having a limo, I’m not going to buy fancy personalized toasting glasses or a cake server, and I’m addressing my own invitations instead of hiring someone to do them. I guess some brides don’t realize what they can cut out and what is just poor etiquette.
I think some people just flat out don’t know what is rude, but some justify their rudeness by saying the economy is bad or saying "it’s my day, etc."
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It’s not the economy, it’s the people themselves. In tough times, people have to make sacrifices or cut costs. But, anyone with a shred of class, would never make themselves look like a fool and neglect their guests.
I was thinking this myself, because I read a question before about not providing food, because it wasn’t a "traditional meal time" What??? Are you serious???
Growing up, I can’t tell you how many parties, picnics, birthdays and other celebrations, my mother planned during "non-meal times" and still provided a full meal and more food than anyone could ask for.
She always told me that it didn’t matter the time or occasion, you feed people. You also provided enough food and good food, because you didn’t want to embarrass yourself or you family. Trust me, no one ever turned the food down.
So, I definitely agree with you. Personally, I would cut the list down or I would scale back the formality of the event. No one says you have to have a four course meal. But, you still need to provide people with lots of good quality food. But, I’d rather serve my guests a more causal meal and it be good and plentiful, then half a$$ an expensive meal and leave people hungry and unsatisfied.
The same goes for cash bars and I know that’s a huge regional debate. But, I could never ask anyone to pay for something at my wedding. You don’t ask your friends to pay for their beer or glass of wine in your home, so why do it at your wedding?
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i agree with you!
im getting married in november 7th & if anything im budgeting my wedding dress
there is no point to spend over a 1,000 on a dress you are only wearing once
so mine is costing less than 800 & its really nice!!
instead of getting a professional wedding photographer
my fiance’s friend works for a tv station taking pictures
& he is taking them for half the price
i just pay for a videoghapher
i got a cheaper venue
i had one for 3,000 & i got a cheaper & way nicer one for 2,000
instead of having italian food im having this traditional mexican plate where my fiance’s parents are from in mexico
its still really good a full meal for my 300 guests
& the only reason i didn’t get the 3,000 venue was because it has an open bar & i had to either pay for the drinks or just make it a bash bar
so at the venue im getting im just hiring a bar tender to serve all the drinks & i will buy the liquor & beer like at Costco!!
i want my wedding to be fancy! & i know money doesn’t grow in trees! but i am budgeting!
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I think that when it comes to weddings, etoquette blunders are bound to be committed regardless of the state of the economy. For most people, a wedding is the biggest party they will ever be in charge of throwing, and the various, sometimes complicated etiquette rules that go with weddings often cause much confusion or simply go unfollowed. I don’t think anyone purposely sets out to destroy all social convention with a complete lack of etiquette- I just think that oftentimes the bride or groom is simply unaware that they are committing a breach of etiquette. Of course, that is why literally hundreds of books, websites, and message boards on the subject of wedding etiquette exist, but in all the times I have been faced with a situation in which the bride, groom, and/or their families are behaving in a way that would make Emily Post turn in her grave, I honestly just don’t think they realize it.
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Bride-to-be Sep. 5- unabashed adorer of the Emily Post franchise, and jokingly referred to as an "etiquette Nazi" by fiance.
Ah in that case the meal is traditional as it is optional.
Besides what you consider etiquette and tradition may be completely different in a different country.
So maybe it is just a case of pre-conceived ideas on how it should be that are not shared by other people.
Personally I don’t think you are right. I just think there is a tendency to be more individual in choices for weddings and what people find important to them at their wedding. Sure guests are important but ultimately even they are optional. A wedding is a wedding with a bride, groom and celebrant. The rest is just tradition and thus options to add and substract.
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Nothing excuses rudeness, but people don’t have to stick to a blue-print.
Totally agree with MissE.
My fiance and I are having a small wedding in a registry office and then heading to a restaurant nearby for a meal in celebration. We have asked our guests (all very close family and friends) to cover the cost of their meal instead of buying us a gift. Their gift to us is their company as we can’t afford to pay for everyone. Everyone understands our situation and are more than happy to go along with us. What’s wrong with that?
Weddings don’t follow a set pattern anymore, and I find big, elaborate weddings quite vulgar given the fact that most of the world lives in poverty. With infinately more important things going on every day are you really that concerned about wedding etiquette?
EDIT: If anyone is implying that I am ‘rude’ in their answer I really don’t appreciate it. Not that it is any of your business, but my fiance and I have booked a wedding venue, hired a car and booked into a hotel nowhere near where we live so as not to inconvenience the majority of people who will be in attendance and so that THEY wouldn’t have to travel and book into hotels at extra cost – so rude of us. We have not asked for gifts, because we don’t need any, and we made it perfectly clear to everyone that we totally understood if they would rather not attend. We have tried to add nice little touches here and there, like buying a glass of champagne for everyone to be given as they arrive at the restaurant, we have paid for several platters to be spread around the table to compliment the main meal and we have bought beautiful top quality chocolates to be put in each place setting. It’s not much, but it’s what we could afford.
The ’spectacle’ of the wedding means nothing to me, and I would be more than happy going down to the venue, exchanging vows with my partner and going home. Other people wanted more – they wanted to come out with us and they knew that meant paying their own way. We are both full time mature students and have two young children. Money is tight. I cannot afford – even if I wanted to – to provide top class food, booze and entertainment for wedding guests (besides which, I have never even heard of a ‘free bar’ at a wedding, much less been to one. Is that American?).
You have no right to judge people who have different values to your own. I think most of the comments on here reveal more about superficiality and snobbery than they do about anyone being rude.
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etiquette [et-i-kit, -ket]
–noun
conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
.
this means it’s different in different areas, or groups – so just because it isn’t accepted in your circle doesn’t mean it’s not in others
for me, yeah the first thing i reduced was decorations – no biggie (edit: how are centerpieces a gift to the guest? i thought that was the food, party, and favors…it’s not worth a couple hundred dollars for centerpieces – especially when there’s no way to make them something everyone will like – we don’t all have the same tastes & if you fill a room with flowers like that you end up causing allergic reactions in some guests – real nice gift!)
i’m giving my guests a wonderful dinner, but i wouldn’t skimp much on the dress either(though it was less than $1000 it’s my dream dress)
this day is about me and my fiance, no one else
yes, people are doing lots of things that most of us would consider rude – but how do we know that their friends and family are like us? we don’t know if they’ll find these things offensive or not
i would never let everyone watch my fiance take a gaurter belt off of me or expect someone to let another random person put it on them – i think it’s tacky – but this is tradtion for lots of people so i don’t hold it against them – i just don’t do it myself
i know people on my side of the family would think the dollar dance tacky but it’s tradition on my fiance’s side (my friends do it too)
it’s not right or wrong just because some think it tacky
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Haha! Oh, science chick, you just made my day! I have been feeling the SAME way!! I just read one by a girl who is inviting 250 guests and her budget is $3500! Typically you use about half of your overall budget for the reception so…. that would leave $7.00 to spend on each guests for food, drinks, etc. Yikes!!
I’ve also noticed that people are putting little to no effort into centerpieces, which are what your guests sit around while they have their meals! Your centerpieces are like a gift to your guests. Maybe its just me but its a major pet-peeve of mine when people cheap out on those. Your guests DO notice!
People are feeling strapped for money nowadays but they don’t dare think of cutting the guest list down to their near-and-dear. They’d rather have a huge wedding with everyone they’ve known since they were in kindergarten, mean while cutting corners left and right. Do you really want 250+ people invited to your carnation-filled, cash-bar, cheese-and-crackers wedding? I would be embarrassed. There is nothing wrong with being on a budget as long as you stay realistic about things, which obviously many are not!
I’m getting married next month, and I truly put a lot of focus on "wowing" my guests. We are having only 85 people. We could have gone with a bigger guest list on our budget but I wanted my friends and family to feel special and spoiled because they are all very important to me and I really wanted to show that. I’m going all out because I want this to be an event that my family and I can be proud of!
*end of rant*
Thank you for bringing this up. It has been bugging the heck out of me!
EDIT:
I’m assuming all the thumbs-down are from the people who are committing such "etiquette blunders". Figures.
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Amen. People use the recession as an excuse for everything. While yes, some families are hurting, the recession does not mean it is ok to ask for money, etc. My fiance and I were already "poor" before the recession, so we budgeted accordingly and are still having a nice affair.
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I suppose I’m uncouth b/c all of the weddings I’ve been too have been potluck, cash bar/guests bring their own alcohol, etc. Usually there are no invitations b/c everything is by word of mouth and I’ve seen dollar dances (which is a tradition in some cultures) and cash bars. No one is offended b/c that is how they roll and they are used to it or expecting it. I think it could become a problem if your family is not familiar with certain practices and you want to impose them for your wedding. I’ve never been to a formal sit-down wedding with the menu selected ahead of time. A matter of fact, one of the first things people do when the engagement is announced to suggest what they will bring/contribute to the wedding and cash gifts are usually expected.
Sooo, to each his own. Now I do think brides should stick to a budget and try to accommodate their guests needs to that budget. But I didn’t even know that Dollar Dances were thought of as begging until coming on this board. Or that juice and punch receptions were considered trashy. I also didn’t know it was considered cheap for potluck or cash bars until Emily Post wannabes started whipping out quotes. Instead, we view weddings as mini-family reunions where people come, eat, rejoice.
Edited: To the person below me yeesh. That sounds terrible. In no way should your guests not have enough to eat or drink. The whole point is be considerate. There is a difference b/w not following tradition/Emily Post and just being that kind of tacky.
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Yes! I went to a huge wedding reception that was held at a very upscale location after a big show-off wedding. They held it on a Friday, with the wedding being at 6:30 and reception following. A lot of people came straight from work. We were starving and all they had were appetizers.
It did say this on the invitation, but it was chicken wings and fried food with salad and cheese. They had a couple of hot appetizers, but not enough to go around. In fact, not enough of anything to go around! They had kegs, box wine and a couple of cheap liquors with only soda mixers and no garnishes!
They were also going on a big honeymoon. I think there were close to 300 people and they should have kept it under 100. It was the biggest money-grab I have ever seen! I felt like stiffing them with the wedding check, but of course I didn’t.
Since they both come from upper-middle class families, this was extremely tacky. I don’t know if the economy caused them to do this or not. I do know that it was very tacky and we left quite early to go to dinner with another couple. Shame on them.
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Well I agree with you in some ways and not in others. I think it is certainly sad that some couples seem to forget the point of the weddin in the first place. I myself was miffed to receive an invitation with the poem:
Kettle, teapot, we’ve got the lot,
So please give us money for our savings pot.
I chose not to give money but bought them a traditional greek pottery money jar!
Having said that I don’t think this is the same for everyone, some people still try hard to do the right thing, even with lower budgets. We are planning a smalli (40-50) wedding with our nearest and dearest but are making sure that though the food is not posh there will be plenty for everyone. We are going to France to pick up cheap Champagne and Alcohol (though it is still of a decent quality).
Our dream wedding is for everyone to love everyminute and to make our uests very happy, but most of all for them to remember being there when we make the biggest promises of our lives.
Etiquette is certainly less thought of today, but I don’t think you could say that everyone is ignoring it.
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I agree with you, but I’m not sure if it is the economy or just poor upbringing where people are taught to be selfish.
My fiance & I decided on a guestlist, found an affordable venue and ensured we budgeted first for food & beverages for the guests. We then built the rest of the budget around that.
I may be wearing a $219 dress from eBay and not renting limos or going on a honeymoon right after the wedding, but my guests are having a dinner with full open bar and a DJ for entertainment!!
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AMEN!
To update you, the new era of etiquette-challenged brides insist that is appropriate and good taste to send *email* wedding invitations, to skip thank you cards (or the travesty of hading computer, pre-printed, default ones at the reception) or barking orders to your guests saying that no boxed gifts will be accepted, some even *I’m not making this up* even going through lenght in clarifying on their wedding website that they already have "enough toasters".
The lists goes on and on. I literally sit here sometimes and scratch my head trying to figure out how these people think that asking for your guests to pay for your honeymoon is acceptable. I’ve been to a wedding during the summer time that expected the guests to pay for their own water or soft drinks on their cash bar on 100F temperature. I’ve been to one wedding that demanded that the BP was at the remote location at 9 am for pictures. o food or water was offered until the recption at 5 pm, and even then, it was a meal fit for a toddler and worse, not enough for the 150 people in attendance.
On my wedding, I went out of my way to make everyone feel comfortable and gave to the best of my ability. I wanted to be remember for being gracious and for people to have fun and be properly fed and entretained. We succeeded.
Good luck
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I agree. There are a lot of people suggesting outrageous things because they have to cut corners because of their budget. There is nothing wrong with not being able to afford a huge wedding but there is a whole lot wrong with trying to have a huge wedding that you obviously can’t afford. It will be very apparent to their guests at the wedding, and I would think most guests will be offended and feel as though the wedding is just one giant gift grab since the guests are not being thought of.
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"Wedding Etiquette" has not always been around, nor has it always been exactly the same. Etiquette is the practice of something that is done through authority or social conventions. Not everyone practices the same things in the same way. Personally, I find etiquette to be more of a set of guidelines and rules, usually made by people with something to gain/acquire.
I also don’t believe the economy is the main reason why people choose to do their own thing. It may be part of it, but people are learning that it’s ok to expand their views and horizons and to do what they feel is best. Just because someone else may not think that something proper, doesn’t mean that it is actually terrible. Most people I know (including etiquette experts, wedding consultants, etc) agree that things are changing and that most anything goes now. It’s usually just advised that people be aware of the "normal etiquette" that they are disregarding as some people may not understand or agree.
If you don’t like what people want or are having, then don’t attend their wedding, answer their question or whatever else. It isn’t about you, it’s not your choice and you have no idea what the people who will be attending their day want/expect/need etc.
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This makes me feel chagrined because I have always striven to be gracious to others and make those around me have a nice day, but out of ignorance, some things were…overlooked.
I had an Emily Post mom, but she died before my wedding. My family was not happy about my marriage because I was pregnant and only 20 years old. My dad wasn’t hostile and in fact said he’d write the checks and I could do everything else. I chose not to push the envelope on his generosity, plus I had about six weeks between engagement and wedding.
I took out the Emily Post book (an engagement present from my aunt and uncle!) and tried to do all it said with the ceremony, which from my part went well. It was in a beautiful private garden, abundant with all kinds of flowers and foliage, which to my part cut down on the need for decorative flowers.
I asked the rental place to bring white chairs and they brought brown.
Because of some people not RSVPing there were not enough chairs for everyone.
For a 1:30 wedding, 2:30 reception, I had rolls with elegant cold cuts, punch, coffee, tea, fresh fruit and cake. I’m reading a lot about quality food here and feeling really guilty.
I had a keyboard brought in and an excellent jazz pianist playing for the reception which was the only entertainment. No centerpieces or other decor for the reception aside from paper tablecloths in my teal color, but we were in fact in a garden paradise.
I tried to get around to talk to everyone and it seemed that everyone thought it was beautiful in its own way. We gave hugs as appropriate in the receiving line and most people got a photo with the bride and/or groom.
No wishing well or other money grab things, we cut the cake but didn’t do the face shoving thing, no garter or bouquet toss because I found the garter thing distasteful and wanted to keep my bouquet.
I dunno…I hope not to be planning my daughter’s wedding with her until at least 10 years from now, but when I do, I hope we can do something with more taste.
No favors. It never even occurred to me no matter how many issues of Modern Bride I read.
I was just clueless I guess. I can’t go back — it was 1992 and I’m still happily married to my husband.
I think there are a lot of entitled bridezillas out there, but I also believe some things are done out of ignorance not malice
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I am in total agreement with you. I am shocked and appalled by some of the questions asked on here!! Some people even have the audacity to imply that spending extra on your guests and spoiling them means you dont care about your marriage!!! The nerve! Yes, the wedding is about the bride and groom but all those you love have taken the time and effort to be apart of your day. I would never think of not giving them the very best. We have over 300 people we would have liked to invite but decided we would rather have 100 and not skimp on anything. We plan to provide an open bar, butlered hor devours, a nice meal, desserts and great entertainment. I want our day to be remembered!
I have never ever used my financial or even personal issues as an excuse to exercise poor etiquette. I was taught better than that. How you treat your guests is a reflection of you and your upbringing. To ask someone to make their own meal or pay for water in 100 degree weather, as one person said, is simply rude and in poor taste. People need to learn how to budget. It is rude to expect a nice gift from someone and supply them with soda and cheese/crackers. Gross!
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"Tradition is optional, etiquette is not" That’s all well and good but what you seem to have neglected to mention is that tradition and etiquette are subject to many things such as country, class and even ancestry. Bad budgeting is one thing but coming down on people’s head because they are going outside of what you know as tradition and etiquette is another thing all together.
Yahoo is international and people are asking questions from Tokyo to the west coast of America. People who answer should take this into account and instead of being rude etiquette nazis who demand that brides do things like hand-write the address on the envelope (true story), it’s the envelope for crying out loud!
Where I grew up a cash bar is seen as the norm and does not breach etiquette in any way. If there is an open bar it’s a pleasant surprise but we do not go to a wedding expecting free booze, other than some champagne for toasting. And if a bridal couple does want to save that money for better food or a bigger hall or whatever then why condem them as being tacky?
We asked for cash gifts because we emigrated right after the wedding. Why is that such a bad thing? We would have loved to get traditional gifts but 1) could not afford the shipping or the needed electrical changes and 2) could not register in our new country because the exchange rate is ridiculous and would have meant that people would have to have paid more. Sure, we could have simply not mentioned gifts but I didn’t want to risk people buying us things that we couldn’t take with. Imagine how that would have made them feel.
Since all our guests were close friends and family, they understood this and were happy with our request. A few of them asked me if they could buy us something and I asked them to remember that we were leaving so it had to be something that could fit in a suitcase.
To me having a registry or gift list is not begging for gifts, it’s making life easier for guests who want to buy something.
And lastly, people seem to forget that both tradition and etiquette change over time. For example. back in the day the invites were hand-written and hand-delivered, nowadays they’re generally not. So why can you accept that but not accept people who don’t want to pay for guests to drunk?
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I agree with you 100%. Not allowing people to bring a date or their significant other, cash bars, requesting cash gifts, pot luck weddings, etc. I can go on and on. Why do people treat weddings differently than any other event? I mean you wouldn’t charge people for alcohol at your 4th of july bbq. You wouldn’t squalk if someone brought a date, so why do so at a wedding? Screw ettiquette and tradition. There is common decency and rudeness to consider. I don’t get it. It’s your wedding, you should be treating your guests even better than you would do in your own home on any random day. Definitely not worse. I’ll stop now because I know I am preaching to the choir here.
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No, the blunders were going on long before any economy troubles.
I totally agree with your points!
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I am having a wedding of about 150 guests I wish the list could be cut but me and my fiance both have large families that we are close to so there is no getting around that. Our Venue is a local Elks lodge which is perfect the room for the wedding is huge and they have a beautiful waterfall (outside) that I would love to get married in front of. They will have very good food since the people who cook for the elks are excellent cooks, and there will be more then enough food to go around. Me and my mother are making my invitations ourselves and they are not the ones you get from a package at Walmarts and just print from your printer. We are having center pieces and favors and my mothers best friend is doing a candy bar, she is hand making all of the chocolates they will be individually wrapped. My dress was about $650 and it is my dream dress I bought my veil on ebay for $23 and got my toasting glasses and cake cuter for 50% off. I am sure that you will not like the fact that we will be having a cash bar but there will be soft drinks and water available for no charge but if they want to drink and get drunk I refuse to pay for it. They will have everything else that is needed I really don’t think giving people the chance to drink all they want on me as a necessity. Some may not like it but that is how me and my family feel (even the one I am marring into) We are all big drinkers but if they want to drink they can buy their drink (and the elks has the cheapest alcohol I have ever seen) And we will have champign for toasting but it will be in momosa form since that is the only way me and alot of other people I know will drink it.
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